


Fundamental

by zahnie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood, Character Study, Demons, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Season/Series 09, Trans Crowley (Supernatural), Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Truth, well technically from 1700 to the end of season 9, what a cheerful fic I have written to be sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22182592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zahnie/pseuds/zahnie
Summary: Trans!Crowley: a summary of his life, his deal, his demon existence, with a definite focus on his Season 9 activities.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	Fundamental

**Author's Note:**

  * For [greenmonstermash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenmonstermash/gifts).



> I watched the finale of Season 9 for the first time tonight. I've had a trans!Crowley headcanon for a long long time, ever since we found out what he sold his soul for in 1700 (inches added to his penis). Didn't think I'd write about it but then he was waxing philosophical about truth in episode 9.23 and here I am now with this fic.  
> I'm cis so these are not my lived experiences. I am trying to be a good ally. In this fic, Crowley is evil and he is transgender. Trans people are not evil. Please be safe reading this and please let me know if I've accidentally missed any warnings <3

As the King of Hell, Crowley never lies. He just doesn't tell the whole truth, lets people draw their own conclusions. Covers the truth with insults and sarcasm honed to a wicked point.

Centuries ago, as a human, he didn't lie either, though the world asked him to. Everyone around him wanted him to lie. From the moment of his birth, they lied to him.

Unwillingly, he lived the lie. Any rebellion, any faint whisper of the truth, and he was punished. By the time the crossroads demon found him, Crowley was more than ready to make a deal. His soul for a body that fits. A body nobody will misgender.

(Much later, Crowley learns about all the ways transgender people can tell the truth to the world and change their bodies. He wishes he'd known he wasn't alone.)

After the deal, life is less unbearable for a while. His son is a baby who grows up to have no idea of the life his father used to have. Crowley is no better at parenting than his own father was, which shouldn't really be a surprise. He was an alcoholic long before the deal and continues to drink heavily after, figuring that he's still the same on the inside as he always was.

Once he's collected and changed, Crowley still feels the same about the truth. Bend it, omit facts, but never, ever lie. If anyone was ever born to be a crossroads demon, it's Crowley.

Power comes to him and it's complicated. He enjoys the luxuries, the perks, as much as he can. It won't last. Crowley doesn't lie to himself. One day, he'll get into trouble he can't get out of. Until then, he plays the hands he's dealt, always looking to his own advantage. He is a demon, after all. Other peoples' consequences are not his responsibility.

Sam Winchester's disgusting mostly-human blood gives Crowley glimpses of his old emotions. It's revolting, obviously. But Crowley did always have a taste for the macabre and he wants more. The more he gets, the more he wants. It feels _good_ to feel bad. Pain is better than emptiness.

Abaddon brings Crowley's son forward in time. The visceral reminder that human emotions are a liability is actually helpful. Seeing someone from his old life when he's in this heightened state makes the whole thing more real. Regular humans are just pieces on the board to a demon. He misses that detachment. Maybe emptiness is better than losing the game early.

Crowley goes cold turkey on human blood. He's back to being King of Hell. It should be a victory but it's just... boring. He's won this already, it's like he's going in circles.

Crowley's ready for a change in the cosmic order. And he knows just the sucker to give it to him. Dean Winchester, reliable as clockwork, summons Crowley. Confirmation that the Mark of Cain is taking its toll.

Crowley never lies. It's important, as he tells Dean's body later. Fundamental.

But a sudden twist that changes the game... well, that might just be his favourite thing.


End file.
